When
you feel self-conscious it means you are
putting too much attention on your self,
too much focus on what you are doing and
how you are doing it. And this is a formula
for poor performance.
The
secret then to dealing with this problem
is to become other conscious.
If
all you do is shift your focus from self
to others you will communicate better,
perform better and become a far better
listener.
Another
positive consequence is that other people
will enjoy spending time with you because
it is so obvious you give them your complete
attention.
Your
goal is to become so fascinated by other
people that your focus is on what they
say, how they say it and why they say
it.
6
Tips for Becoming Other Conscious:
- Pay attention to the way people breathe,
watch closely and observe the relationship
between breathing and speakin
- Listen
not just to what people say but the
way they say it. Pay very close attention
to speech patterns, changes in tempo,
volume and tone.
- Ask thoughtful questions to understand
the way others think. Really strive
to grasp why others think what they
think.
- Whenever
your focus shifts back to the way you
are behaving ask yourself questions
about the other person so you need to
pay
attention to him e.g.
- What
does he really mean by that?
- How does he manage to be so boring?
- How does she keep people so entranced
with her words?
- Use
your imagination to change your mood
and to keep your mind too occupied to
be self-conscious. You could for example
imagine that the people you are talking
to are wearing no clothes or inappropriate
clothes. Why not have some fun, feel
good and still enjoy a good conversation?
You owe it to yourself to find as many
ways as possible to feel good. As I
have said before excellent communication
skills are more dependant on your mental
and emotional states than on clever
language patterns.
- Use
affirmations to condition a new belief
about your ability to be relaxed and
other conscious. For example
I
am fascinated by the way people talk
I
give my complete attention to whoever
I talk to
I
am an excellent conversationalist
I
feel fantastic when I meet new people |
