Define
Your Anger
Do
you get angry every now and then? and
if you do get angry can you define what
exactly happens with you when you become
angry. Have you ever tried to define your
behavior. What caused it and what else
you could have done instead of being just
like a mad bull in front of others. Normally
you don't. That is the reason why every
time you get angry, though you get some
thing in our favor but most of it goes
against you.
Are
you thinking that the anger is the most
stupid thing that happens. If yes, then
you are wrong. As anger is nothing but
an internal expression. Expression cannot
be positive or negative. It is the usage
of that expression which makes it beneficial
or harmful for an individual. You might
be thinking now that how to use anger
in positive manner.
The
fact is we always see the out put of the
event and based upon that we express our
selves. i.e. negative or positive. We
don't try to understand the process. Similar
with anger, every time we get angry we
are processed through certain steps after
which we become angry. Similarly it happens
with you as well. For the matter you have
to define your anger.
- What
caused it?
- What
were the stages when you were becoming
angry?
- What
you were feeling?
- What
others were dong?
- When
others were probing you towards anger,
were there anybody who was trying
to stop you?
- What
alternatives did you have other than
unleashing your wrath?
I
know these questions are difficult to
think at the time of rage. I don't say
that you start questioning yourself at
the time of anger. Analyses your previous
angry events. Put these questions on them.
Surely, you would get the answer. I tell
you for sure the answer of last question
and that would be "Yes, there were
other ways too....."
When
next time the same situation comes across
you, you would exactly know what to do
instead of being angry. And the result
of the same event would entirely be different.
This
is done because you have defined your
anger. Manufacturing process is very essential
to understand because it helps you to
redesign the product / service / behavior.
Define
it, when next time your experience anger.
by
Haris Tabassum
10
Ways You Can Overcome Anger
- One
of the key steps to overcoming anger
is to identify the object of your
anger.
Many people who struggle with chronic
anger aren't even sure what they're
angry about. When you identify what
you're angry about you can begin the
process of dealing with it.
- One
of the goals of an angry person can
be to draw attention to themselves.
They often feel that negative attention
is better than no attention at all.
If you don't feel loved or needed,
this may be a root cause of your anger.
- Accept the fact that most
things in the world are out of your
control.
If you try to continually control
your family, friends or circumstances
you will find the result frustrating.
- The root of your anger may
lie in a lack of forgiveness.
If you've never forgiven someone who's
hurt you, you're caught in a vicious
trap that will ltimately destroy you.
- Many who struggle with anger
hate themselves.
Self-hatred can be used as a tool
to control your emotions. You may
need to learn new skills to control
your emotions in a positive way.
- You may be angry about things
your family or friends have done to
you in the past, even decades ago.
This is called residual anger. It
is possible to resolve this anger
and move on with your life, but you
must be willing to spend time identifying
the root of your problem and choosing
to forgive those who have hurt you.
- There are some legitimate
physical causes for anger.
If you suspect your problem may be
related to a chemical imbalance in
your body, be evaluated by a qualified
psychiatrist.
- In truth, no one can "make
you angry," even though they
can provoke you.
You can control your response to people
and circumstances.
- There is a place for "righteous
anger," when one of God's principles
is violated.
Scripture does admonish us to "not
let the sun go down on our anger"
though. In other words, when you feel
angry, it is important to deal with
it and move past it as soon as possible.
- If you or a family member
is struggling with anger issues, they're
not likely to go away by themselves.
It is necessary to identify the cause
of the anger and take proactive steps
to resolve it.
by
Steve Arterburn
